Small Stakes Poker: The People You Meet

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
-The Doors

This is one of my favorite lyrics ever. I am not really a Door's "fan", but I do recognize some of the more beautiful lyrics that Jim Morrison penned while hopped up on whatever herb, shroom or pill he was hopped up on. Sometimes I sit down at the local bar/restaurant to play a game of poker and the lyrics sound through my head like its the opening credits of "The Lost Boys". You meet many different types of people at the local bar poker tournament.

The "Pro":

The "pro" is the guy sitting next to you telling you what everyone has. "He has to have A-Q to call that re-raise and I know he likes that hand." Sometimes the "pro" is correct is a happy clam when he "proves" his pro status with a correct calling out of someone else's cards. The pattern I have noticed is that the "pro" doesn't make these reads while actually in a hand. If they are in a hand too long with their amazing reading skills then they play the Negreanu card and "pay it off"...just like a pro. They make all the right moves and act just like the pros they see on TV. The big question is this...if they are so good, why are they playing basically free poker in a bar in Tennessee?

The "Fun Time Guy":

This is my favorite person to sit next to. Usually not because of their poker skill, because that varies as far as one can imagine, but rather because they are having fun. One of the major things I had to learn about basically free poker (BFP going forward) is that you HAVE to have FUN. Its not about wins, losses or money...cause honestly, you ain't making any money and your wins and losses only matter in your memory. The cards have no memory and neither should you. Have fun with BFP. The Fun Time Guy will win occasionally and finish last just as often if not more. But this is the person you want to hang out with.

The "Bad Beat Boyz":

There are some people...no matter where you are playing...who want nothing more than to pee on your poker. I hate poker pee'ers. Every time there is a big hand or you show them down, they have a "one up" story that will ruin the moment for everyone at the table. They forgot this is poker that doesn't matter for much more than fun. They have a bad beat for every situation and take it way too seriously. God hates them...or so they would have you believe. They never catch cards and never win. And its always a non-win to be sitting next to them.

The "Serious Type":

They aren't pros because they know their place, however, they do think that every hand should be played by the book. I haven't figured out which book they are reading, but its got to be boring. They hate the Fun Time Guy and usually can be found near the Bad Beat Boyz talking about how they made the perfect play but some donkey did them wrong. The Serious Types are no fun unless you figure out how to get under their skin in some way. Usually dealing them a losing hand where they played it wrong does just that.

The "Home Gamer":

This can be a mixture or a copy of any of the above, but the Home Gamer is typically pretty knowledgable about the game and how things should be run. They always have a different way of playing in their mind. They play off hands that noone else will because its normal at their place to do so. They do not get why they are called donkeys by the Serious Types and Pros. It's their normal game to play hands that others don't play. And hey...."It won didn't it?!?!?"

The "Noob":

This is my favorite to watch. I hate to be in hands with the Noob and I hate to be near them because the play is erratic at best. The Noob will play "2-3" because they love Michael Jordan. And they use the same excuse as the Home Gamer..."It won didn't it?!?!?" The Noob relishes in bad play. They usually get mad about you correcting them or helping them, so they hate the Pro and the Serious Type. They are timid and will call all day. They rarely raise, but when they do they typically do not bluff. They will raise completely out of nowhere and there is no logic to the raise. It will usually be an overbet. There are also Noob Imposters...but we won't cover those. Just beware anyone who is too noob.

The "Wild Card":

This covers all other options. There is the smelly guy, the girl who is on her phone all night while holding up the game, the heavy guy who breathes too heavy and the random bar guy who decided after weeks of watching the games he would stumble over from the bar and play a little while. All makes and models of people are represented. I have played with many nationalities, homosexuals, women, men...I have sat across the table from most any type of person you can come up with. All they wanna do is play poker in whatever style they prefer.

It all comes down to style. What style are you when you sit at the table? No matter what it is, keep in mind that your game is yours. Play well and stick to your own methods. Improve upon your methods and attempt to improve your overall game. None of the strangers at the table should compromise your method and throw you off of your game. The most important thing to remember here...enjoy the strangers at your table and keep in mind that this is BFP and it SHOULD be fun for everyone in their own way.