The Seven Year Itch

Tomorrow, seven years ago, was the first date I had with my fiance Amanda. She remembers much more about the actual date than I do because her mind remembers those details better. Its a female thing and she is good at exercising that skill. I know I picked her up at her grandmother's place, we saw A.I. (worst movie ever) and I dropped her off with no goodbye kiss. The thing about this date was that before I met her, I had rules. No goodnight kiss on the first date, makes a 2nd date harder to come by. If you don't reach over and unlock my door after I let you in, I don't go out with you anymore. Silly things like that. After that date, my rules were gone.

I realized that night...actually before that date...that she was special and would be a big part of my life. There was a connection on my end that she did not catch on with until a few months later. She wanted to take things slow because she had been hurt. I had been hurt too, but I knew this was worth my risk. What's odd is that after that date, we just kinda fell into a rhythm. We started dating and about the 3-4 year mark, I decided to take a position in Knoxville...2 hours away. To be honest, I was being selfish with the outward appearance of "doing it for our future". I wanted to make the move, even though I requested not to. She loved me through it all and even though she hated Knoxville with the same hatred Hitler had for the Jewish people, she visited me twice, sometimes 3 times a month. I drove here, she drove there. It was hard on us and we did disconnect at times. I personally blame my own selfishness for this.

She stood by me until I grew through this situation. We grew together. I moved back to the area a little over a year ago and within a week, I knew the next step had to be taken. I bought a ring and asked her to marry me. In a way it was a reward for standing by me through the entire Knoxville debacle, but it was 3 years late by my mark. She deserved the same connection to her that she had shown me. The only way to give her that connection was to propose, in my mind. I have not regretted that decision even one day. After the shock wore off that fateful night, she said yes. Thus began the next chapter of our 7 year book, thusfar.

The opinion is that couples get what is called "the seven year itch" in their 7th year of marriage. We are not married, but we do see the things that occur when couples fall into a rhythm...or a rut. We know what each other is thinking, we know each other's non-verbal cues. I probably get on her nerves more right now than in the 7 years previous combined. I still fail her daily in not loving her as she deserves, not listening to the things she doesn't say and sometimes just because I am stubborn, but this is not an itch I care to get rid of.

She finally gave me a goodnight kiss a few months after that first date. I got a car with automatic door locks, so she never has to unlock my door for me. I still should be opening her door sometimes, but I just stink at it. Much like those first 2 rules I had have been solved within our relationship, many others have come and gone. She loves me despite my attitude, my failures and the things I do that just bug her completely. She even loves me no matter the music or movies or TV shows I like. Over the years we have discovered everything we don't have in common, but with seven years under our belts, I know more than ever that we have the important things in common now more than ever. We love each other and we love God.

Amanda - I know you don't read my blog, and I don't blame you, but I love you more today than 7 years ago and will continue to grow in that love, in our relationship and in God till eternity ends.